The unspoken words

 It was in the early hours around 4 a.m., Sudha was tossing around in her bed with a feeling of something was amiss. She heard the noise of an Almirah being opened and closed coming from her senile father's room. Immediately, she was awake in the moment, ran up to his room that, at that moment, was the only brightly illuminated room in the house. An ever determined surgeon, he was diligently searching for something. She knew there was no much use speaking words to a man who from the past fifteen or more years was getting adjusted to his declining auditory senses and was for obvious reasons not wearing his hearing aid at the time. Obviously, it was the old age dementia with insomnia that was hindering his once sharp skills. Nevertheless, he pursued his investigation. Sudha instantly picked up what she assumed he was looking for, from atop his table, and handed it over to him. He simply smiled as Sudha ushered him silently to go back to sleep. The house again went dark as the celestial brightness luminated through the windows. It was a conversation of no noise but an understanding that they got used to over years, as nurturing acknowledgment and developing appreciation pass through phases of struggle, failure, relearning, and finally reaching the stage of acceptance that is beyond any spoken words.

Life as it is

The lobby outside the ICU appeared unusually more spacious. The chairs that were usually filled by the so-called patient attenders, as the nurses addressed them, were vacant. Amid the vast emptiness, Shweta stood anxiously waiting to receive her mother. For the past fortnight, she had been running to and from the hospital tirelessly. However, today was different. Shweta reached the hospital quite early. She was fidgety, her legs were sore but still she preferred to walk back and forth the hallway instead of sitting. Last evening, she spoke to the authorities and ensured that in case of any anticipated discharge or release on a Sunday, the process should be smooth and without any delays. She wondered if her being a doctor made the hospital comply better that was otherwise for the laymen. Nevertheless, her belief that all things ultimately fall in their rightfully due place gave her a solace. Yet, the solace was far less than what she actually wished for, and again the longing made no sense in the current moment. As she waited patiently, knowing that the hospital days were over, her thoughts drifted into the yester-times. Right from the start, Shweta had independent thoughts. A bright student who dearly wanted to pursue her career, she always wanted to stay unmarried and often bragged about how she would care for her parents during their old age. Not that she was the only child but, she was overly attached, possessive and felt extremely responsible towards her parents. In spite of her urge to stay single, she could not dismay her parental concerns and finally gave in. Irrespective of her needs and wants, Shweta had a welcoming nature and always believed in the choice to embrace life as it was. Now, as a mother herself, she very well understood the emotions of a parent. Suddenly, the sound of the ICU door opening brought her back to the present. The nurse rushed out informing, “another half hour” as she extended her hand onto which Shweta laid a bag bearing her mother’s belongings. ‘Finally!’ she thought, as she was aware that her mother would be dressed in her civil clothes as the last hospital ritual. She then hurriedly scrolled her phone and tried to call someone. After a few attempts, she got connected to the other side and could speak to him. He was her support, the rock pillar who would never leave her side, come what may! She sighed in reassurance and sat down with eyes closed, tears rolling down the cheek. Everything was falling in place, as if time were kind enough not to create more obstacles. Finally, she heard the rolling wheels of the stretcher, her eyes opened wide as she ran to walk with her mother one last time, taking her home. She was joined by her better half who assured her that all the formalities were covered, arrangements for the final rites were also done and they could go home. There were many whom she had to console, as life suddenly showered responsibilities onto her. She needed to be brave and knew that her courage was in his unwavering support as he walked beside her.

How Well Did I Know You under the Sun and Rain

In this lifetime of fright and fun
Is the time spent together enough to know someone?

My journey with you was indeed unique,
Collaging a beautiful portrait picturesque!
I saw you win, I saw you lose.
I witnessed all those options you Chose.

I saw you afraid, I was there when you were sure!
I saw you fall down, yet still endure.
I witnessed all the hurdles you survived.

I can vouch for the situations you thrived,

And the timely glory you vibed.

I saw you sob, I saw you laugh.
So, was it complete or not even half;

Our lifetime of fright and fun?
Was the time spent together enough to know someone?

I heard, the many people, talk brilliantly about you.
Those were some bits, I felt I knew.
There were others that took me for a greater surprise.
Some bits even made me revisit our time to memorize!
While some narrations were as delightful as the dessert,

Other versions appeared to be mirages in the desert
At times, how I wish I knew you more.
At times, how I wish I was there when you were sore.
How then, am I in the capacity to judge you to the core!

How then, am I in the capacity to decide your decor!

As the time we spent together was just a phase and no more.

In this lifetime of fright and fun,

Is the time spent together enough to know someone?

My memory of you is a mere judgment of my vision
That was merely smudged by my needs and aspiration.
Into the past, today, when I stare,
To judge you anymore, I cannot not dare. 

I may have judged you in my style, 

but you lived your life with your master stroke style.

For, I never knew you, the way you were you,
But I knew you just the way our relationship needed you!

I never lived your life the way you did,
And I never faced your situations with your wit!

Today, as I am simply blissful to have had you for the while,

I will only adorn your memory and cherish your smile.

Yet, I ask again
How well did I know you under the sun and rain!

In this lifetime of fright and fun,
Is the time spent together enough to know someone?

The love story

As she calmly sat at the veranda, enjoying the drizzle, a sudden breeze sprayed a mist of freshness onto her face. “Biswajit, oh Bissu, join me out here in this most romantic weather,” she cried excitedly. “Coming in a moment Jyo,” Bissu spoke in a feeble voice as he walked lamely holding onto his walking cane. “Doesn’t this beautiful weather enchant you, come on,” she rushed him. Every day, Bissu lazily stayed back in his bed, until something really urgent required his assistance. “Finally, today you stepped out of your cozy bed,” she smirked. “Good old man, now come and sit with me and let's savour this moment,” she demanded. He lovingly held on to her hand as she caressed with her fingers on to his. It was indeed a long-awaited magical bit. Jyotsna was ecstatic as they cherished old memories and passion filled the air. “Knock off, you Romeo,” Jyo blushed and pushed Bissu as he tried to kiss her. Love was in the air and every moment was precious. Meanwhile, the drizzle turned into a heavy pour. “Now, we need to move indoors, else you will definitely fall sick, my love,” said Bishwajit. “Oh no, I was just starting to enjoy us!” “Promise me, my darling, you shall always be my Romeo,” Jyo laughed. Quietly, Bissu smiled back as he picked himself up slowly and helped his wife with her wheelchair back into the house. “Right now dear, we need to go back in and get warm,” he asserted. Soon, they finished their supper and went on to watch the television. Together, Jyothsna and Biswajit had lived and endured an unwavering married life for almost half a century. Ultimately, it was now their time to relax in life. Very soon, in fact the very next morning they were expecting a heart-warming visit from their kids. With emotional and wishful thoughts, the couple eagerly looked forward for another sun rise. Xenial and enthralled, they woke up before daybreak and prepared to set the stage for their fondest of the guests. Yes, it was the day they were keenly preparing for. Zealously, as always, they received their children to celebrate their, one more amazing, wedding day.

- Swathi Sudhapalli Bulusu

The quiescence of Soundness

In this world of sensuality,

The senses are confused and lost,

Juggling between sanity and insanity,

Deciphering what is worth the cost!

At one hand, success propels more to achieve,

At another, the definition of success seems to deceive

All that has been gained sensually

Against all that has been gained ethereally!

From this chaotic turbulence

Emerges the stillness of silence

Of a perpetual presence from within a sensual absence,

Of the quiescence of soundness,

Of an absolute un-boundness!

The Innocence of Imperfection

When a child aligns the pieces of a puzzle,

After much ponder and a tussle;

The twining of the jigsaw may not be exact,  

Yet it is done with a persistence so perfect .

Indeed, it is a beautiful reflection 

of the innocence of Imperfection!

The very deed done with determination

ensures the sublime fruition 

That needs no outward applause

As it reverberates redeemed from all flaws!

National Day

 Once a torch of patriotism,

Once an emotion of pilo-erection,

Now chilled out in history under the name of a National holiday.

A break from the strenuous life,

Yet, still it is thankfully remembered

And the heroes revered

For the future generations to at-least aware

Though just annually.

A moment that still sparks the boiling blood

To post columns of hair raising articles

That are read, but once annually.

No actions, only words,

At least the words are alive!

Once a day of joy and peace

Now turned into a day of fear and alert

From the known and unknown terror.

The day but remains in the history of our country,

Though with a fading memory of its importance

As a celebration with colorful parades and sparkling lights.

Let us re-ignite the patriotic notion

Let us once again feel for our Nation

The concocted mirage

Why do we crave for a recognition?

Encased by human submission!

it is not temporary?

Is it not momentary?

That is but a material deception!

Why do we crave for a position?

Subjected to human permission!

That is but a fantasized approbation,

Only a mere illusionary conception!

Why do we crave for a placement? 

Further marked by human judgement!

That is but again a biased conviction

Based on the sensual perception!

Why do we crave for a survival

That cannot, without human approval?

An approval of impermanence,

That is indeed chanced but not based on competence!

In search of appreciation,

We mislay our identification,

succumbing unto another's commendation!

Turmoiled, we juggle both humiliation and jubilation.

Alas! we Fabricate a misjudged collage,

A pure aftermath of our own concocted mirage!

-Swathi

Mother's Day

 The beauty of life is in its creation!

The beauty of creation is beyond any narration,

saying that,

The source of creation is magnificent much beyond any imagination!

-Swathi

The Elixir called Rain

The clouds are moving to the west

To pour the rains of their best.

The scorched soil endures to finally cool and rest

As the Earth awaits to quench its thirst!

No sooner falls upon me the dew drop of rain,

As lightening strikes now and again!

With thunder on its side,

The whole sky it will ride!

A serene fondness adorns each leaf,

Tranquilly, the blossom hums to end its grief.

As the scent of the petrichor fills in a novel relief !

As the far-reaching raindrops patter and splatter,

The graceful peacock croons a musical in the water!

The bird in it's roost, cuddles and snuggles

Hoping to pick an easy feed once the rain settles.

The ocean waves have their own story to tell

Of how in the storm, they rose and fell.

The shoal once again breathes in, the freshness of water,

As the rain infuses into and purifies all matter.

As the nature ensembled is painted by this heavenly nectar

The elixir of the atmosphere mesmerizes the mortal,

For a moment, the whole moment longs to stay immortal!

-Swathi

 

 

A Weaver's Craft

Have you ever wondered at the marvel of a bird's craft,
The nest that would be a haven to its new family!
even if , for a only a while....
till the hatchlings take their fly.
It crafts from whatever comes in hand,
A skillful creation not so planned.
Yet it is a beauty so unique,
A home so picturesque!
A craft woven from the heart,
Not from the mind, nor the thought , but still so smart...
A mere inspiration
To every creation!

-Swathi

Siva-Sakti

 

Siva-Sakti

Deciphering the essence of life

It is believed that in the very beginning of the creation, there was a motionless meditative Sava. Then, came along an enigmatic, enchanting and a magical SAKTI. She glanced at the speechless, lifeless and mystical Sava and sensed an innate potential in his trance. Sakti gracefully swayed and danced around Sava and caressed him. At the very moment of the touch, there was a divine attraction between them. Sava merged with the ‘e kara’/ ‘ई कारा’ or the feminism of Sakti and emerged out as the magnificent and powerful yet composed and calm SIVA and hence everything else followed in the creation. It depicts an amalgamation of two divine energies into an inseparable vitality and strength. This is a beautifully captivating story that I have heard from my childhood, and I always wondered about its mysticism. I ever wanted to relate it to the reality of our world and understand its essence. Today, I firmly know that this symbolizes the essence of our life.

            Duality is an existential reality of our world, not just today but from the beginning of our knowledge about this life. Look around, everything exists in pairs, in partnerships or complementary to each other as counterparts. Each one of us, at some point in life, must have wondered about these twofold situations that we come across. The earth has two poles, the north and the south pole, which are two far ends but their relative presence to each other is detrimental to the sustenance of the planet. Similarly, we have the poles of the magnet. The north is attracted to the south and vice versa. They seem to be just made for each other that can stay in balance only when together. The north is represented as the positive or the plus sign. The south is represented as the negative or the minus. This reminds me of my classroom lecture on atoms where the protons with the positivity exist at the centre of the atom and are surrounded by the negatively charged electrons which very much seem to be dancing in their orbits around the central protons. This takes us back to our original story about Sava and Sakti. Can we draw an analogy between these phenomena and the story? Yes, the original meditative Sava can be compared to the north pole or the positivity present in almost everything. Then, Sakti is the south pole, or the dynamically charged electron attracted to and swirling around the proton. Now the story begins to make a novel symbolic meaning. Be it in the form of magnetic poles or charged particles of electron, Siva-sakti personify pure energies.

Our lives are wound around the day and night, another duality. The day is full of activity while the night is when we rest, recharge and get prepared for the next day. In fact, our body with all its organs follows the so-called circadian rhythm where they are conditioned and programmed to function as per the 24-hour clock. Only when we perform in accordance and respect the boundaries of day and night, we maintain a harmonious state of vibrance of physical and psychological health. Balance is the ultimate key to being sound.

With determination as deep as the ocean, and optimism as vast as the sky and space, Siva personifies the masculinity and represents the innate capability, strength, logic and skill. It is the motivation ‘to do’ things and to achieve them in life. On the other hand, Sakti is the feminine liveliness in the flow of a river. It is the energy of the tides that makes its existence felt, with an intuition as swift as the breeze that whispers and communicates its emotional nurture, an inspiration simply ‘to be’ in life. It is the feminine quality that bestows confidence and recognition to the masculine willpower and reasoning, similar to the breeze that gives an identity to the air and makes it felt.

Siva Sakti are embedded in our chromosomes and genes. It is the genes that confer us our characteristics and nature. If we consider the sperm as the power of manliness and the ovum or egg as the zeal of woman-hood, then their union is Siva-Sakti itself. Each life born into this world ferries forth the coupled energies of shiva-shakti. So, we bear the paired spirits inside of us, only waiting to blossom, be utilized evenly and to be poised. In today’s world man lives in an ambivalence, oscillating between the duplexity of joy and sorrow. We all crave for happiness yet forget the fact that in the absence of sorrow, joy never had an identity. To recognize one, we need the other. Yet, again attaching joy to material pleasures is temporary happiness. There lies a quiet space between joy and sorrow, the stillness of neutrality and tranquility called the Shiva-Shakti. This stillness is an unwavering permanence. If we examine deeper into ourselves, our body is controlled by the so called autonomic nervous system with a double responsibility of providing vigor with agility and at the same time having a calm relaxation effect as and when needed. The dual machinery of this system controls and co-ordinates our body’s responses keeping it under harmony and balance. On one end it enables us to fight the distress while the other rejuvenates us to prepare for the fight.

Siva Sakti is a perfect picture of non-duality existing in the face of duality. Non duality as perfectly called Advaita is the harmonious existence of both the masculine and feminine energies or qualities. This in itself is the essence of living a peaceful life by synchronizing the odds and the evens. Siva-Sakti is that Advaita, though dwelling in Dvaita of life situations, it seeks for an equilibrium towards a meaningful and blissful existence.

Siva-Sakti is an introspection, a peek into the microcosm within self. They are not entities that exist in some imaginative realm but are very much alive in the vast expanse of universe inside of us. The potential and the dynamism to live and let live, the very essence of life.

Shiva-Shakti

 

The illusionary game

People have called me loud,

People have called me Voiced.

People have called me talkative.

All from their own perspective!

For some I am an entertainer,

For others I am no less than a joker!

For some I am brandish,

For others I'm rather snobbish!

For them my ways are revolutionary,

A means to only flourish.

For others I am a lost soul

Who likes to spend time deep in a hole

There are some who called me selfish,

Some others also titled me a hypocrite.

For they found me not bothered about the world, 

For they found me not bound to my word.

But alas! Such contrasting narration

Did definitely create a commotion!

Confused I stood, only to understand

Life judges you not on your stand

But on the mood that dwells in their mind.

In the moment of the interaction

Creating the ripple of altercation 

There was actually no one to blame.

It was only an illusionary game

Of the thought and the action,

Of the action and the reaction. 

Simply humbled, as I walked,

I  wholeheartedly laughed. 

The melodious Literate in essence

Timely, as I peek into the alter self,

I realize this melodious literate in essence

Who I relate to as neither he nor she

But a Shaman of words dwelling deep within me

I ever wonder at what you pursue,

I ever more ponder at why you pursue

To merely relish on the delicacy of wordy bites!

To merely chronicle the Universal delights?

That could otherwise be mentioned in concise

With a little less wit though a bit less precise.

Is it for the love of nature?

Is it to show the mastery over Literature!

Yet, your play of words does entice

The grandeur of the moment that was not otherwise.

Is it in search of someone lost,

Is it to replace something from the past?

If not to reminisce those petty pretty moments

why would you contemplate 'bout them in the current?

Is it to air an abode of romance,

Is it to set sail into a realm of trance,

With chimes of bewitching syllables

You purely cast a spell of marvels!

Nevertheless, I only speculate in admiration

The real mystery of your motivation.

In an enigma of this pleasant speculation,

I realize your verses are an expanse of enchantment

Waiting to be traversed and unleashed for a soulful contentment!